i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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