It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
