It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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