It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
