I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
