Do you still have your period?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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