Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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