There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
