i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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