I got chris browned last night
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
