I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
