the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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