Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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