she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
