I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
