It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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