Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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