You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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