soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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