So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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