So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize