Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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