Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
