Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
How's work?
Spinning.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
