i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
