He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
