don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
