I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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