totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
