would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
