Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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