then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i will never coherently bang her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
