Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
