he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
