You're so nebulous sometimes
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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