I wanna passion pit in your ass
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
