this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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