Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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