and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
