i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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