I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
