too bad you live with your parents still
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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