Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
