have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
