Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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