so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
