Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
