Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
