Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
