Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
