You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
