yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize