so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize