fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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