No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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