the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize