im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
