its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
how drunk are you?
Several
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize