How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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