batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
