Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
