is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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